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Gavin Atlas
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Granted, dogs are territorial and don't like strange people approaching them.  But I should not be scared walking in the parking lot of my apartment complex.  Yes, I was attacked by dogs bigger than me when I was about five or six, so I have never been comfortable with big dogs.  But the woman who lives one building over can barely control her enormous and very aggressive dog.  I would have liked to cross over to the sidewalk so I could take out recycling without walking in the middle of the road, but that's not possible.  This is probably the third time she has had to struggle mightily not keep her dog from attacking me.  By the way, in the past when I've tried to say hello, it was met with stony silence so it's not like she knows my name or bothers to tell her dog "it's okay, it's a friend."  Instead she yanks the dog's leash by the neck.

If I had to guess at the breed, I would say Anatolian Shepherd:

http://www.conservationinstitute.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Anatolian-Shepherd-Dog-Jon-Mountjoy-Flickr.jpg

I'm pretty sure it's fair to file a complaint instead of waiting for something bad to happen.  

...try the ridiculous.   I PROMISE YOU this has worked twice.

Monday.  Headed home from my mom's house and stopped by Walgreen's to get a prescription.  When I tried to leave, my car would not start.  This is not infrequent over the last few months and the main reason I need a new vehicle after 18 years.  After a bunch more attempts, I thought about calling AAA, but more than once this year, the car started without them needing to do anything besides turning the key.

Solution:

1) Go away for a length of time that would be reasonable for a mechanic to show up.  For example, ask Walgreen's to give you a flu shot since you happen to have more free time than expected.

2) Come back to your car, whistling innocently, and perhaps mutter in a voice deeper than your own "What seems to be the problem?"

3)  Continue to pretend to be an expert who can easily make the car's owner look like an idiot by suavely putting the key in the ignition, turning, and

HAH!  Car.  I got you!  You started, you sneak!
=======================================

True story.  And I did it once before.  I'm sure there's some sensible automotive motive for the car's behavior, but since I don't know it, I'll go with "My car is a mischief maker."

Also, I'm going to need a character to do this at some point.  

Current Mood: blahblah
Current Music: Cazwell - "Dance Like You Got Good Credit"

My mom says I'm not remembering this 100% accurately, but it's pretty close.  So for all intents and purposes, here is one of the silliest non-fiction stories I know.

===================================

Scene: May 1991. A bus tour around the UK, first night at a hotel in Edinburgh, Scotland. Mom stopped by my room to drop off laundry soap, and the door's locking mechanism broke. We could not get out.

I called down to the front desk....

Me:  Hi, this is room 309. We're apparently locked in. The key card was giving me trouble before, but now the lock seems to have given out completely.

Front desk: No problem at all. We'll send someone right up.

(Three minutes later, a knock on the door)

Fix-it Man: Em, hello? So you got in your room all right, then?

Me: No, see, we can't get out. It won't open.

Fix-it Man: What? Oh! I thought you were locked out. (Tries to key-card the door. Won't open. Tries again. Jiggles handle.) Goodness, you certainly are locked in. Let's see now. (More jiggling and tinkering sounds). Well. I'm not sure I can fix it from this side. Be back in a jiffy.

Mom: He's not sure he can fix it?  Will he have to break down the door?

(10 minutes later, there's a tapping sound at the window.  It had to have been a bird because this was the third floor.  The hotel couldn’t possibly have had that big a ladder.  We pulled back the drapes. There was the repairman.)

Fix-it Man: Why, hello! Terribly sorry to pop in on you this way. May I have a look at your door?

(Meanwhile, my mom called my dad back in their room since he must have been wondering where she was. A minute later there was a knock at the door.)

Dad: Hello?

Mom: Hi! We're fine.

Dad: So you did get in? I thought you couldn't. (Jiggles door handle.)

Mom: No, getting in wasn't the problem.  How could I call you from this room if we couldn't get in?  We can't get out. (mumbles) He never listens.

Fix-it Man: Och, men! We're all like that, aren't we?

Dad: You're locked in? (More door jiggling.) What? That doesn't make sense.

Fix-it Man: (to Mom) Common misconception, isn't it?

Mom: Radhe, we have a repairman if you need proof.

Fix-it Man: She's not avoiding you, good sir! I'll have her back to you in a mo'.

Dad: A repairman? Well, how did he get in?

(Mom explains. Fix-it Man uses the room phone to call down to the front desk asking for a specific type of screwdriver to be brought up. Five minutes later, there's a knock on the door.)

Young lady: I have the screwdriver.

Fix-it Man: Oh! Em, thank you.  But did I mention the door wasn't opening?

Young lady: Oh, you did. I thought you were all locked out. But then how did you get in?

Fix-it Man: Well, the room is equipped with a window.

Young lady: Oh, quite right.

Fix-it Man: Then could you be a love and bring 'round that screwdriver?

Young lady: Certainly. Of course.

(Three minutes later, another knock on the window)

Young lady: So sorry, may I come in? (If memory serves, she managed the ladder in heels.)

(A few minutes go by, and the new screwdriver hasn't helped. The fix-it man gets back on the phone.)

Fix-it Man: (Speaking into the phone) I'm afraid I'm going to need to cut around the lock if we're to free our prisoners, but I wanted permission before I started with the saw. (There’s a pause and then the repairman hangs up.) Right. The manager says to carry on and break you out. On we go. Freedom will soon be ours.

(Two minutes later, yet another knock on the window. A man in a suit has appeared.)

Man in a suit: Hello! Terribly sorry to bother you. I'm the manager, and normally we don't check in with our guests via the window, but I wanted to apologize for this inconvenience. Are you quite all right in here?

* * *

So...the minor trouble of having to switch rooms resulted in one of the fanciest dinners we've ever had, compliments of this very nice hotel and a misbehaving door lock.

Deep depression temporarily lifted by this incredible and fantastic review.  Please note: The review has photos that take its topic from X rated to Triple X.

http://ontopdownunderbookreviews.com/the-full-ride-bottom-boys-get-play-gavin-atlas/

Banzai.

Yes, yes, yes.

Deep breath.

Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: Garbage - "I'm Only Happy When It Rains"

Steve Berman sent a copy of the book Snapshots of Seduction to journalist, Gregg Shapiro.  The book is a 32-page "photo essay with short story."   The short story is by Gavin Atlas.  The upshot is that I've now had an interview appear in OutSmart Magazine.  Maybe I'm kidding myself, but now I feel way more famous.

[Wait. "More" famous? Can one be "more famous" even if starting at zero. Maybe?  Alice from Alice in Wonderland would say no.  You can't have more tea if you haven't been given any already. But wait again. I've received at least one fan e-mail. So I'm a tiny bit above zero.  So there.]

Here is a link to the interview: http://www.outsmartmagazine.com/2014/07/hot-shot/   I do laugh easily, but I don't crack myself up every other minute as the interview would lead you to believe.

Current Mood: Happy
Current Music: Duran Duran - "Girls on Film"

It's more important that I post this than worry about its eloquence.  Since I've been struggling for thirty minutes already, I will stop wasting time.  Alex Jeffers is in the hospital now after, I think, depression got the better of him.

He is a wonderful guy.  Here is a link to help him if you can: https://www.crowdrise.com/helpalexjeffersgetbackonhisfeet/fundraiser/steveberman1

::hug for Alex::

::warmth and light for everyone::

In the past week, two people have asked me about my first book. Since I'm not my own best publicist, I'm re-posting my favorite review.  It's from the Out Personals Magazine website. Unfortunately, people have told me they get a message when they go to that site saying it may not be safe.  So, safe reading to you.  :)

The Boy Can't Help It: Sensual Stories of Young Bottoms by Gavin Atlas  by T. R. Moss


cover

Can't help it, the (boy) can't help it”…

The Girl Can't Help It, by Little Richard, was the theme song to blonde bombshell Jayne Mansfield's best-known film. She’d wiggle her way down the street and the milkman’s bottles would overflow with cream, jets of champagne would pop out with corks flying, traffic would snarl and cars would get into fender-benders.

"The Boy Can’t Help It" is full of irresistible young bottoms who have exactly that effect on their dominant, uber-masculine, unrelentingly horny tops. These boys have the most perfect, round, welcoming rumps imaginable; they are frequently "easy bottoms” and sometimes reluctant ones, but most of them are college boys and athletes, sculpted and insatiable whether satisfying one cock at a time or an entire team all at once.

The stories are on the smutty side of the erotica spectrum. If this were filmed porn it'd be gonzo -- wall-to-wall sex with minimal plot or character. The exceptions are: the familiar, romantic stories of Blue Star Boy (seen in the previously reviewed "Surfer Boys") and Hercules to the Rescue (from "Hard Hats"). There are abundant gang bangs, willing bottoms, and previously unremarkable men who rise to the occasion by pulling out dominant desires to seduce and bang submissive boys.

A standout story is the inventive Slavery by Degree, about a young bottom who agrees to be a sex slave in order to pay off debt -- let's call it sci-fi indentured servitude. He’s locked into cages and beamed in and out of different men’s houses, his ass available to any client, and in a few flashes, travels all around the world every night. He gets fucked for hours by any number of men with mechanical assistance, as each machine is custom-fitted to have a face cage and a gag, all means to allow various forms of violation. There's a nod to John Preston's novels, too, as the main character has an ongoing favorite client who is kind to him and unimaginably wealthy, with a giant cock.

Picture all the college boys in Gossip Girl getting together for a gang bang and there you have Duel in the Sand, where older, wealthy law students take a younger college boy to a nude gay beach and have a hot, rough fight over the right to fuck him, taking turns with his ass along the way. “It's like Animal Planet,” an onlooker comments, which is quite true as the men smash each other out of the way. While the cocks in this story are of truly mammoth proportions, the story is far hotter than anything on basic cable.

In general, this anthology covers a great many archetypal top/bottom fantasies. Who wouldn't want a top who is always willing to fuck, or a bottom who can take an unending amount of pounding? The Only Bottom For a Thousand Miles is a great example, with a bottom who lives at an island resort as the best-known, hottest and only bottom around for miles, thereby getting all of the action possible.

Simple and Easy fulfills the fantasy of a man in uniform, as a young Marine straight out of a recruitment commercial is reluctant, but only until a just-rough-enough top comes along to turn him into the slutty bottom he knows he is.

The title story, The Boy Can't Help It, is a stellar combination of smut and romance. A young Arab student has a roommate with such an intoxicating, masculine body odor that he appears to compel all the men he meets to follow him home and fuck him. Of course, the student is curious about this power and asks his science professor, who can't help but investigate. The list of men who fuck his roommate (as he watches enchanted) becomes so long and convoluted that it could be a French farce. Of course the previously innocent Arab roommate succumbs, fucks his roommate in mutual ecstasy, and proves that scientifically, objectively, yes ‒ the roommate is irresistible.

The quality of Gavin Atlas' stories was already established in Hard Hats and Surfer Boys. This anthology proves his talent yet again. For a truly decadent array of easy bottoms and relentless tops, pick up The Boy Can’t Help It and find the beautiful boys and aggressive tops of your horniest dreams. Just keep an eye on any nearby champagne bottles, as you may be popping your cork in no time.

With references to Best Gay Romance 2014 and a bunch of very cool people.

Here you go: http://gaymediareviews.weebly.com/blog/the-full-ride-by-gavin-atlas5-star-review-interview-and-giveaway


Thanks to Paul Berry and Gay Media Reviews. :)

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